Sunday, May 18, 2008
Spark, Glow, Fire ; 8:37 PM
Hm.. long time no update.. Lol.. Ok finally another diary entry. Written on 14th May 2008:
"After a few disappointments, is she the one? Possibly. But I don't like to rush these things. I would much rather have slow, but steady and stable development.
I would much rather not have something that starts with a great spark, and burns impossibly with all its glory, blindingly bright, but burns out very quickly. In the end, there is nothing left but ashes to ever remind us of its existence in the past, and some memories to keep, perhaps as consolation?
I would much rather have something that starts out small, slowly, and steadily burning brighter and brighter. Though it may not be as glorious, or as illuminating, it will burn for a long time. And in itself, even without the blinding brightness or great glory, there is some inherent beauty for all to see. Stable as a mountain, it may burn on forever more.
I guess that from my point of view, it seems that the relationships that I observe seem to be the former kind. However, many end in regret, disappointment, tears, anguish, and in some, even despair. It may be great while it burns brightly, but are you able to live with the reality of having only cold, insubstantial ashes left?
Yet, I guess it is not really that bad. Just because it has to end one day does not mean that you should not start it. If that were so, we should all just end our lives now. I guess it is very much the process, and what you take from it that counts. After all, they say that it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. What is important, however, is the ability to pick oneself up, and having the optimism and bravery to try creating a spark once more.
Oh wells, one of my objectives in JC is to have fun, and troubling myself with all these relationships stuffs is not really fun. In fact, I think I have been able to care less and less about this, and I'm proud of myself. (: I will just chill, and let nature take its course. Of course, if it does come, I will not reject it. As Sara's mother put it:
Whatever will be, will be
Whatever will be, will be, indeed. :D
P.S. I think that when I read back on all these 5 years from now, I will find my writing incredibly immature and retarded. But until that day, I will stand by my views, and believe in what I believe in. "
Lol.. reading back, I can't believe that I really wrote all of that. Especially the lame parting shot. ><
